Tea-Bagging Maniacs fight for their shitty "Life-style"!

   I'm not usually one of those "I told ya so" kinda guys.  Shit, if you didn't listen the first time, you're on your own.  Of course, I don't have access to the kind of ears that really need to hear what I have to say, and I doubt they'd listen anyway.

   What am I mad about?  Shit, many things, but I'll narrow it down to just a couple.

   One:  Fuck oil.  Fuck it.  Fuck you if you want us to keep drilling.  Fuck you if you waste it on a big-ass Rush Limbaughmobile.  Mainly, fuck the entire oil & gas industry.  And fuck the auto industry as well.  These dickheads are like smokers that get cancer, and still refuse to quit.  If it were up to me, I would buy them a metaphorical Carton Of Smokes, and let them kill themselves, but the metaphor involves "second-hand smoke", and I'd (we'd) end up losing a lung along with them.

   See, I'm a little pissed off about that fucking offshore oil rig that blew up.  Not only did some poor guys (that were only looking for a paycheck, I know) DIE in a huge flaming mess, but NOW (dig this shit), THEY ARE NOT SURE HOW SOON THEY CAN SHUT OFF THE FLOW OF OIL. 

   [Does anyone else think it's funny this shit happened just hours before "Earth Day" Began?  God works in mysterious ways, eh?]

   Yeah, you heard me.  Thousands and thousands of gallons of gooey DINOSAUR SHIT (and rotten old trees) that should have just fucking stayed in the ground is now belching out on the sea floor, killing shit and knocking a few years off of humanity's dance card.

   But, that's not the worst of it.  The absolute WORST are the fucking idiotic tea-baggers.  While earthquakes shake, tornadoes and tidal waves blow us away, volcanoes erupt all around, these faggots are bitching about losing their "lifestyle".  These fucking morons scream things like "drill now, drill here!" and other completely fucking stupid phrases, and LAUGH at the idea of climate change.  Yeah, I know, right?  They want to keep their 100,000$ jobs, their illegal workforce, their Escalades, and they are prepared to let the poor die slowly of horrible diseases if they have to!  They are willing to sacrifice anything (of yours) to save their worthless asses.  I mean, their spokesperson is a single mother that was too stupid to use a condom and wants to ramp-up oil drilling in Alaska. Why?  Does she think it's good for the country?  Do they think that it is good for the world?  Fuck no, they just want money.  AND THEY WANT IT NOW, BEFORE THE SHIT HITS THE FAN.  These fuckholes think that just laughing while you say "global warming" causes the concept to lose credibility...that's funny, I usually laugh when I say the words "Jesus" or "God"...or "Clean Coal" (laughs out loud).  Hell, I'd like to see these buttfucking assholes really fight for what they believe in.  I say, put them in the fucking ring, with the prize being a huge tax break.  Hell, offer them NO TAXES FOR A YEAR if they get in the ring with a pro for just a few minutes (a'la Bully Beatdown).  Shit, that's all they are anyway:  Douchebag Bullies.

   I've got an idea how we can solve two problems at once:  Take all the Tea-bagging ball-lickers and all the oil and gas execs, remove their bones, feed the meat to the poor animals locked in zoos and grind their bones into glue.  Then you take the glue, and plug up that fucking oil hole they made in the ocean floor.  The auto industry guys?  Fuck, just set up a sting-style operation, saying they won a new pair of jet-skis, and when they walk in the door, whack them with a hammer...JUST LIKE THE COWS THEY EAT!  Shit, they love oil so much, we should make them drink it.  Bottoms up, faggots!  Hey...why do we call cow meat "beef", but chicken is just chicken?  Deer=Venison, Baby Lamb=Veal, but chicken?  Just fucking chicken.  Sorry, back to the misanthropic rant already in progress.

Hey, my idea is no less crazy than theirs.  Oil?  OIL??  Really??  Are you that fucking greedy and lazy?  Rhetorical question, dipshit...

   I'm also willing to bet various body parts that the majority of these ignorant douchebags are "god-religious" as well.  On behalf of the semi-intelligent portion of the human race, let me be the first to tell you fuckers:  Heaven's not overflowing.

   I suppose I'll eventually have the opportunity to tell them what I think about their beliefs when we all get to hell.  See you there, you fucking dinosaurs.  You, me, Hitler and fucking Oral Roberts can sit around drinking oil, discussing the best methods of breeding stupid monkeys for the purpose of mass consumption of poisons for profit, until fucking eternity yells "last call".

Eat shit and keep breeding, idiots.  That's my recipe for Suck-Cess.