Sometimes Sundays! Let's Get Wheezy!

  Just over a month ago, I started seeing YouTube as somewhere other than a place to see old cartoons and people falling off motorcycles (and bicycles, and tricycles, and trampolenes, etc...), and as a home for serious entertainment.  Entertainment of ALL KINDS!  Really, aside from the fools lip-sync'ing, giving beauty tips and just plain ranting about nothing (...*cough*...'scuse me, got some irony caught in my throat), there's a lot of fun to find.
  I now subscribe to about 10 channels.  Mostly silly and personal stuff, like flute playing tips and videos of people playing old video games, but a few that are just people doing their thing.
  The one that made me sit down one weekend and watch YouTube for so long I can't remember (really, it seemed like Saturday morning turned into Sunday night JUST LIKE THAT *snap*), is something I have to share with you.
   Oh, it's not like it's any kind of secret.  I think they are even one of the most subscribed channels ON  YouTube, but still...it's for a reason.
   I'm talking about Wheezy Waiter.  I'm glad I didn't see it before last month...  Even though he's Video and I'm Audio, I'm sure I would've unconsciously adopted some of his manner.  His Band is pretty kick-ass as well.
   So, go and check out Wheezy Waiter on YouTube, or at his own website.  You're Welcome (ungrateful bastard...bitch, whatever!).

Sidebar Saturday!

What does that even mean?  I gotta stop coming up with these ideas on Friday Night...sheesh.

   Well, this sidebar is just a mention about Ads.  You know, the ads that are EVERYWHERE on the internet (most of us can just tune them out by now), and everyone is making money with ads on their blogs, Facelooks, Mindspaces, Yoohoos and MeTubes?  Not me.  Damn, that's scary!  Then people start wondering about the "content".  I Shudder To Think!
   I will never, ever have ads anywhere near me.  I will NEVER try to make money off this stupid shit.  If I was that desperate and stupid, I'd be standing on a corner with a guitar in my hands and a hat on the ground.  No Ads, no Cookies, no nothin'.  I don't care what you do here, and I certainly don't want a nickel a click for it.
  Now, mind you, you'll git hit with crap if you follow some of the links I put on certain words, but I go there first, and make sure it's ligit.  I'll try to stick to the main roads with those links, anyway.  That Nambla one gave me the creeps...  I debated removing it from the moment I put it there, but...it's just so sick, I couldn't undo it.  So, just beware: If you wander away, you won't get a virus; But, you just may get a little queasy.

Check Yer Head...Comix, Episode 1

Over the lips, and past the gums.  Look out stomach, here it comes!

   Originally posted on Friday, September 19, 2008, the text intro written by the CBH crew was surprisingly good, and even a little flattering (oh, STOP, you...call me!).  This was the first time I went a full half-hour, and it was pretty easy, if I remember correctly.  Well, I don't, because I was pretty blasted.  Good thing I recorded it, or I wouldn't believe you today (I said WHAT?  I did WHAT???).  If you want to choose your own format, or just stream it, go here.  I post all my shows, buried in this little corner of the Internet Archive.
   This was a nice, heartfelt show, with little or no "angry" going on.  It's also one of the LEAST downloaded shows (73 by time of this post!).  I have no idea why.  I really got kinda paranoid when these shows started going over 300 downloads.  Some have gone close to 1000! That seems like a lot to me, and makes me a bit exposed.  The video, episode 9, doesn't count in my book.  People are MUCH more likely to watch a 3 minute video than download a 30 minute audio-only show.  Especially one about comic books...by someone they've never heard of.  Need I go on?
   When did numbers start to matter?  Somewhere around episode 11...more on that later.  MUCH later.
   The best thing about this show is that I really, REALLY talk about what underground comix are, and how to get them.  The background music is ultrasweet, and from the time period.  I'm just totally astounded that, even after some people started following me, only 73 downloads...goddamn it, at least 10 of those are me, drunk on a friday night, listening to myself talk.  No, that's not sad, trust me.
  
   The main book I did the Funnybook Flashback on, Jeff Jones' (whom has a woefully tiny Wikipedia entry, by the way) "Idyll", was one that made me want to break all kinds of copyright laws, just to show other people something they would otherwise never see; However, and lucky for me, the damn book is just too large to scan on my little lightbox.  Hell, I could probably disassemble it, and scan it on the big rigs at work, but...are you fucking KIDDING ME??? TEAR THIS BOOK APART, JUST SO SOME SHITHEAD CAN DOWNLOAD IT, SAY "it's crap" AND DELETE IT?  Never.  The people that would REALLY want to read this book probably don't illegally download shit off the internet...or at least wouldn't be looking for it.  Well, come to think about it, after listening to this show, you may just want to download it.  Sorry.  If it's out there for free, I wouldn't know.  All's I know is, my big-ass, paper book AIN'T gettin' dismantled...so, you'll just have to listen to me describe it, press the button, and do yer OWN search.

   Right now, I'm serchin' for a lighter...

Wacky Wednesday!

what's whacky abgout  dids weednesdya??  sheeeeit...I'm DRUNKN!

Yep, got reall wahcky this sednesday, and jus got friggin drunk.  Hod damn.

Um, ain got much.  What with bein drunk n all.  kinda hard to type n shit.

   So, shad's whacky about dotay?  Say a car on fire this morning.  Yep, when I appssed it, muhmukkah was lookin like it was lit by lights, or flare or some shit.  Only by looikin in my rear fiew menu did I see the flames likin up from the hood(!) That was hard to type!

Yep, dat shit was on fire@!

   Hell,  man i'm drunk allright.  Fells good.  Hells yeah, drunk on a f...shit, wednes..wednesday night!  Woohiooo!

This gotta be best bolog ever!

TV TUESDAY!

   Yep, I watch me a lots of TV.  Mostly Discovery Channel, Cartoons,  History Channel, prOn, you know...
   This week, I've been treated to ANOTHER guilty pleasure.  Wait, I don't feel guilty about this one.
Undercover Boss on CBS.  Absolute Gold.  I saw 2 episodes.  The first had the COO of Waste Management (not the CEO...that pussy stayed home, and put the scapegoat out in the field, right?) out picking up trash and cleaning out porta-potties.  He went on a collection route with a woman collector, and held her piss-can in his hands.  She handed him her can (I think it was a Maxwell House Decaf)...told him what she does in it, and he just rolled it around in his hands, going "huh...so, you pee in this".  Fucking GOLD!  Man, the one about Hooters...I used to share a 3 bedroom house with two guys that worked at hooters (this was before I was married, for sure), and lemme tell ya...hoo, boy.  I mean...dang.  Good times (*sniff*).  So, this faggot manager makes the girls compete in a bean eating contest from a plate (no hands) to see who gets to go home early.  I would've taken that guy out behind the dumpster and made him eat beans, but captain COO (pussy) just slaps his wrist, and says "bad boy!"  No, really, the COO said to the guy that he would think twice about letting his daughters work for him.  He would ONLY think twice...  Did I mention that I would make this guy eat his own balls in a dumpster?  I don't even HAVE daughters, and I wanted to beat his ass.

What a puss.

BUTT, the show is awesome.

Next week:  Outer Space Astronauts!

Too angry to type

   So many things irritated me today, I just can't organize them without having an an aneurysm.  Even my more level-headed buddy agrees that, really, it's gone WAY beyond the "oh, you're just too fuckin' sensitive...chill out, man" stage, and into full blown "damn, man, you are right.  These guys are total fucking SHITHEADS".

   I want the whole world to stop for a second.  Pick up something similar to a ruler (for all you public-educated kiddies, that's a piece of wood or plastic that has marks on it to measure things!), or ANYthing that might sting like a fucker, and just smack your stupid self across the knuckles.  If you can't find a stick or ruler, just haul off and slap yourself.  Some of you may need to repeat this several times to get the desired effect.

   You know who you are, you know what you did.  No, I'm not talking to some specific person, I'm talking to YOU, dumbass.  Just sit back, and run through your day.  If you don't remember doing anything stupid, it's just because you were too dumb to pay attention.

DUMB.

Sometime Sundays

   Sometimes...on Sundays, crap may float to the surface here.  Fun stuff, light stuff...the stuff I normally keep to myself.  See, you should keep the stuff you really like to yourself.  That way, nobody will want to take it from you, crap on it, or otherwise adulterate it to the point that you don't like it anyomre.  Hey, that's what monkeys do. Get used to it.

Yeah, I've got a plan.

   Every day of the week, something new.  Well, whenever I feel like it, of course; But, particular topics will fall on a predictable day.

Fer instance:
*Maniac Mondays - I'm gonna let you have it.  And, you can't give it back, because I don't want it.  I'm done with it, dig?
*TV Tuesday (you seeing the theme?  It's not to be cute, it's so's I can fuckin' remember it, allright?)
*Wacky Wednesday - Because this day is spelled so frikkin' weird, that's when the really weird shit will emerge.  Seems natural to me.
*Terrible Thursday - Here is where we'll showcase the heights of our civilation, eh?  Although, sometimes these heights will seem like lows, that's all perspective, my friend.  It's like, sometimes you may feel like you are on top of the world, but other people like me will see the truth:  Yep, yer standing on a great big pile of shit.  Plant yer flag, fag.  Take a whiff...Viva la Evolution!  *P-Tui!*
and, of course:
*Fantastic Fridays!  I'll either re-release an old show, or (when I run out), continue the new line.  Yep, it's all downhill from here on out.

   Then, there's Sidebar Saturdays (again, this is to keep me within bounds, not to establish any kind of special program schedule.  It's all about my brain, mang).  I'll have some Shout-Ins and other mentions of stuff that I just fucking like, and you can just frikkin' like it.  I will be sure to keep the stuff I REALLY like to myself.  So's you monkeys don't poop on it, and stuff.

And sometimes?  Sundays...

*Sniff*...Allright...piss off.

Goddamn Brad Muhmukka...

   This guy Brad is a sick sombitch.  That makes him normal, in my eyes.  Well, I've never seen him, but it's a goddamn colloquialism, you uncultured bastard.  He creates comix that you just can't look away from...no matter how hard you try.  I'm sure, like me, he may often be ashamed of his work, but NO...no, my friend.  Let your freak flag FLY!!

   And so, I want to make this my first official SHOUT IN...To Mr. Brad Hodges, and his Deritive...Dere...Direitv...shit.  Gimmie a moment to Google this shit...

Derivative! Hot Damn!

Derivative Comics.  Don't be ashamed, dear Fanboy...

This may be a well-kept secret.  It's up to you to decide.

Check Yer Head...Comix, Episode Zero

Strike Two! Alright, enough with the baseball metaphors...

here's the show.

Originally posted on Saturday, September 13, 2008, I really tried on this one.  It's pretty mellow, too.

   There weren't many outlets for information on these Underground Comix when I was a kid.  There weren't no Internet, and there sure weren't nobody talking about this shit, neither.  You had to find out the hard way.  Fortunately, the Hard Way in Comix is not nearly as Hard as the Hard Way in other endevors...Like experimenting with the subject matter found WITHIN the Comix.  That's another path altogether.

   Luckily for you folks, the INNERNET HAS ARRIVED!  Well, it's been here for a while, but you get what ah'm sayin'.  Do you feel me?  You do?  Hell, I'm filing a sexual harrassment suit!  Get yer stinkin' paws offa me, you damned dirty ape!

   This episode was short.  It barely lasted the length of a (small) Yes song.  Yes, I understand that my use of music does not fall under "Fair Use".  That's why I'm UNDERGROUND.  Even though it's pretty easy to find me using the Interweb (mostly because of the ignorant use of my pseudonym in the late 90's), I still maintain a reletively low profile.  Part of the blame for me producing more shows and content lately falls completely on the shoulders of YouTube.  I've been perusing the pages, looking at the Vids, and...man, if anything, I think my shows are pretty tame compared to some of this crazy shit up on YouTube.  Hell, these maniacs show their insanity AND their face, for all to see.  Me, I'm a little more private than that. While I may get comfortable later and show my face, for the time being, I'm comfortable with my limited anonymity.  I just can't do that, because I...well, I'm kinda breaking a couple of laws.  That said, I'm looking into using mostly (if not comPLETELY) Creative Commons music.  There is a bunch of it that is GOOD, and will work.  I just have to get over that hump.  I like the music I like, and I want to share it.  You CAN'T steal it from me, because my crappy voice is all over it.  It can't be extracted from the show, period.  PLUS, I'm not making (or even attempting to make) a single penny off this crap.  It's pure pleasure.  It's pure therapy.  It's pure entertainment...well, at least it's entertaining to me...

So, dive into this show.  It's easy to digest, and I talk about Comix for the entire length.

For those whom enjoy my tirades, this will not please.  But it's a fitting introduction.

   Oh, you can check out my latest show (16) up on the Archive: CheckYerHead...comixSourSixteen
I won't post it here until I've run out of older shows (boo hoo!).  The rights to posting the latest shows still lie with the Comic Book Haters...however, they are incommunicado at the moment, so I don't know if they are ignoring me, hate me, or are just too busy to give a shit.  Long story short, they hate me.  I KNOW they do.

That's okay...I still love THEM.  AND GODDAMN IT, I'M GONNA KILL 'EM WITH KINDNESS!!

Kindness is what I named my new aluminum baseball bat...kidding.  Sheesh, touchy fuckers, ain't ya?

   It may seem like I'm reaching a bit with that title, but when you hear it, you will understand.  Then comes Episode 18...HOT DAMN, WE'RE FINALLY LEGAL!!!  IT'S THE SEX EPISODE!!!  GET YER LUBE READY, KIDS!

Man torches expensive home and wrecks expensive plane into IRS Building

   I'm not gonna wax on this for very long.  This guy was a fucking moron.  What a stupid way to get your point across.

   At this point, I'm sure I'm not the first one to point out that he probably could've sold some of his shit, payed off the IRS, and lived a more simple life (within his means, maybe?).  Unfortunately, he was a human being (read: Self-Absorbed, Inconsiderate, Retarded Hairless Ape); Therefore, it was time to just go Ape-Shit.

Glad to know I can still count on monkeys to find the most retarded solution possible...

   No, I will not stop using the word Retarded.  I will also probaly use words like Faggot, Cunt, Fuckwit, Ass-licking Cum Crust, etc...

   Tomorrow night, I re-introduce my first "real" show.  Coming up as well, Written Reviews(!) of several Comix I just never remember when I'm Droned & Recording...eventually.

Check Yer Head...Comix, Episode Double Zero: the Three Minute Hate (five minutes long)

Here's my first swing.  Not sure it connected...

   I became a fast fan of the Comic Book Haters, and responding to their request (not personal), I recorded a "3 minute hate", that ended up being 5 minutes long.   I realized very quickly that this was good therapy (and cheap, too!).  I had combined the two things that were my lifelong salvation:  Comic books and the unabashed hatred directed towards the more useless part of our population. That terrible blight known as: The Stupid Human.  We are all related to this being, but quite a few of us manage to rise above our baser instincts, and behave like...well, sentient beings.
   I believe that differientating our species simply because we can "rationalize", and have a cognizant connection with our surroundings seemingly above all other forms of life around us, is fucking retarded.
   It is our deliberate separation from other forms of life, and inDEED non-living matter that is our intellectual downfall.
  These principles are what I attempted to convey in my first pudcast...and failed.

  BUTT, It felt good.  And it made a few people mad; Therefore, totally worth it.

  And, making myself look like the asshole I am?  BONUS.

  Enjoy.

Why am I here?

   Wow, that's a big one, right?  Is this existential or am I talking about this fucking website?  Well, the website is merely a medium.  It's a tool.  Kinda like you.

   Existentially, I believe I'm here to be here.  There is no deeper meaning to life than being alive.  After all, how important is life to dead shit?  Go on...ask 'em.

   I couldn't care less what my existence means.  Our lives are pointless outside of our sphere of consciousness.  Every move we make is simply that: Movement.  Congratulations, my friend.  Entropy is ignoring you for the moment.  And, GOOD NEWS!  Even after you die, your atoms will continue to move about! YAY! You are composed of particles that continuously move, even after consciousness departs!

   Is this comforting?  Im sure, with YOUR ego, that any knowledge of action post-mortem will thrill the shit out of you, and cause sales of candles sporting the image of the "virgin" Mary to skyrocket.

But, as for me...Well, I know my place in the universe.

   I'm thankful for every breath (notice I didn't spell it breathe...that's because I can read!), and whom do I thank?

   That's a good question.  I usually thank Crap.  Context: "thank crap that fucking cocksucker in the huge vehicle next to me was able to tear themselves away from their faggot-ass phone conversation about nothing long enough to not kill me!", and shit like that.

   SO, what am I here for?  Well, all I know is that I want to piss you off.  Oh, yes.  I WILL piss you off.  If I haven't already, expect it.  My greatest gift is the uncanny ability to sneak in, make you smile, then question your entire existence.

   Why do you exist?  Fuck if I know.  Apparently you are here to waste gravity, pollute everything you touch and shit upon anything that moves.  Oh, and breed like fucking rats as well.  Yes, you breed too fucking much, you know?

Still here?  Man, there are more fucking masochists out there than I thought...

   Come back later, and maybe you will understand why I'm so angry.  Then again, you may not understand at all.  I couldn't care less either way.  I certainly won't benefit, and don't wish to.

What am I here for?  Fuck, what are YOU here for?

I'm here to piss you off.  And, hopefully, to wake your ass up.

Introduction

Howdy, Y'all. I done been booted from the Comic Book Haters blogspot, cause I'm an asshole. Well, who could blame them. At the risk of attracting too much attention to myself, I'm hereforth startin' mah OWN blogspot bullspit spot.
That said, Ah'm gonna put out all my little freak-outs (in order, mind you) for you to spit and/or pee upon.
And, pisspit you may! I'll just wipe it away. Don't sweat it, I've been spit upon before.
I'm just thinking: Maybe a couple of people will enjoy, NAY, even LOVE this crap half as much as I do.

SO, starting this friday, I'll put up an episode a week of my silly shazbot, and you can lay into me directly.
And, just to make sure I'm pissing you off in an orderly fashion, I'm gonna try and put out some new crap every week. Yeah, ah know: "Shizz, half an hour a week? Hell, you can't handle that stuff on strong acid", but NO...sometimes it'll be short (I promise), and I'll just have to come to grips with a shorter show.

Maybe that will mean more talk about comix, and less ranting, right?

Shizzz... Well, we'll just have to see what happens.

Anyway, come back this friday, around 6 pm Central time, and pee for yourself.