Check Yer Head...Comix, episode 14

Waste some Hard Drive Space!

  The sweet, dulcet tones of home... And a voice of idiocy amongst the retarded. Let's just dance between the raindrops, you and I. Mind you, when them music stops, I'm yankin' the seat out from under yer ass.

Because, this cake-walk is mine. And so is that cake, muhmukkah.

Open To The Public

   Well, I don't know if it's just because I'm desensitized from the massive web-surfing recently, or that I'm buzzed on Guinness on a Tuesday night, but I'm gonna open up the door.  I'll just let my "freak flag fly" for more than just Friday & Saturday night.  Of course, if I start getting a bunch of spastic reactions to my shit, I'll pull the plug.  I just hate the idea of some poor soul out there, yearning for learning, NOT to be disgusted (or, possibly incensed) by my brand of angry, idiotic slander.  Face it, Kids:  There's so much bullshit out there, it's a crime to obscure the honesty, even a little bit.

   Send all your hate mail to eclipsespilce(at)hotmail.com, or just leave a shitty comment wherever it's allowed.  Yes, I moderate, but I won't censor your hate.

I just may reply, though...and that may be infinitely worse.  Cheers.

Check Yer Head...Comix, Lucky Turd-een!

Save some for later, dude!

   Are you in the mood for a headache? Well, ME NEITHER. So, remember the show's called "Check Yer Head...Comix". First: we check your head (think HOCKEY), THEN...we talk about Comix. Note the three dots that separate the head thing from the comix thing.


   So, load that bowl, pop that top, strip down to yer comfy undies (boxers are more covering, my friends...we don' wanna see yer junk), and get ready for a brag-fest! Happy Birthday, muhmukkahs!

Divorce: Maniac Style!

   Allright, I know there's a lot of shit going on in the news, and it's hard to focus on one particular thing for very long.  You may have even missed this one.  That's why I'm about to share with you something pretty fucked up.

   This dude here in a suburb of houston was having an argument with his wife in the driveway on Sunday morning while their three kids were in the house  They were yelling loud enough for the neighbors to notice.  The mother was pregnant with number four.  We can only assume what their home life must have been like.  I mean, pretty new (large) house in a nice neighborhood, new car, blah blah.  Apparently he was an engineer for an oil company (Oil? Really?)  Hell, they seemed to be living the dream, right (read: breeding like crazy)?

   But, something mommy said REALLY pissed daddy off, so he shot her.  Dead.  Right there in the driveway.  Then he tried, momentarily to drag the body off, but realized it was a moot point.  So, he brought the kids out to take a look at the body.  He and the kids are the only ones who know what happend next.  In my mind, I see him pointing at her, and telling the kids "see what happens when you piss daddy off?"

   Of course, the baby (7 months in the womb) was killed as well.  Usually in this type of situation, they kill all the kids, and then themselves.  Not this time, though.  Just her (and the baby, but what can you do...).

   The big kicker is when they showed him being interviewed, in cuffs, on the news. He just smiled at the camera and said: "She had it coming".

What do you think about that?

   If that's not enough craziness for Monday, there was a couple here that was suffering financial problems.  They were about to lose their house, etc.  So, what did they do?  Write detailed Suicide notes, and killed themselves. 

   Problem is:  They didn't let anyone know (and they probably didn't have any friends), so they just laid there for about a month until the neighbors couldn't stand the smell anymore, and called someone to check it out.

Two tiny, little stories in a great big sea of Fucked-Up.

In the future, only the BEST plants will survive!!

I'm finally able to play Beneath A Steel Sky, a Futuristic adventure game from the early nineties. Wandering around trying to figure out what to do next, I noticed this shrub...

Curious, When I clicked to look at it, It said...

So I reached out to touch it...

The atrium was full of them!

Now, you KNOW my first thought, right? Well, to my surprise, my character echoed my idea!

Happy Gaming!

Check Yer Head...Comix, Episode 12: So Long, Shitheads.

Here, put it on yer I-Pud!

   I debated for weeks whether or not to cut the end of this show off, and try to restore the original Funnybook Flashback.  That choice was lost to me a while back when I had my last HDD crash, so... Fuckit.

   I'm leaving it on, and I wish I'd had some beer last night, I would've added some shit.

   Rollitup(dot)org can choke on a big, diseased donkey dick.  I still hate those idiotic twats, and if I had a god to pray to, I'd pray they all get cancer in their ass.  Hell, they'd probably be happy.  Then they could get Medical Marijuana.

   By the way, you can still go to their forum, and read my posts (Yes, they never deleted them!).  You will be hard put to find more elequent profanity in your lifetime.  I'm even proud of it, now.  I'd give you the link, but I don't want to give those dickless babyfuckers any more advertising.

Enjoy!

I'm adding the original comments below because I liked them so much!
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6 Comments:


2/23/2009 08:28:00 PM
Anonymous said...
   To the cpl of u that found my myspace page... im pretty sure whatever is going on here has nothing to do with me ...

2/25/2009 06:16:00 PM
eclipsespilce said...
   That's right, folks. I don't blame anything buy my own paranoia and the bloody inner-net.
   Well, if I could get my hands on some of those stoner fucks on that weed forum, though...I'd steal their stash and poke holes in all of their condoms with a rusty needle. Just for fun, mind you.


2/26/2009 08:04:00 PM
Brad Hodges said...
   Naw, babe...you gotta replace their condoms with inner-tube rubber so's they can never, ever procreate.

3/05/2009 05:07:00 PM
Anonymous said...
   Hey there, eclipse. I'm usually just a passive listener to podcasts/radio shows but after listening to your latest episode I felt compelled to drop you a message. I searched breifly for an e-mail but this is the first way of contact I came across. Long story short, you can't let some ass hats get you down. Your show is entertaining and well produced in my opinion. I encourage you to keep it up. As long as your doing what you like, your doing what's right. Regardless of feedback. I don't know what to tell you about that weed forum though, flame the hell out of them maybe. Until next time comic fans....

3/05/2009 05:21:00 PM
Anonymous said...
as cool as that was ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
u DO know it was NOT from me ;)
n i hope some ppl get back to work, cuz if u dont... nothing will leak out... n i like it when theres leaking

4/30/2009 10:26:00 PM
eclipsespilce said...

I let 13 slip out.
Go look for it, if you want.
______________________________________
About the photo: those are my cats, Athena and Arthur Guinness (he's the one without a tail).  And, no, I have no idea what they are looking at.  It was a fresh bowl.  Cats are whack.  Coming soon:  Video of my cat taking a shower with me (which happens every day!)

Ignorant Knee-Jerk Response Time!

   I've got to say something about this, and I'll try to keep it short.
   I will say this about that:  This is not racist.  It is a plea for sanity, and a request that we follow the rules already laid before us.  Having said that about this, here's this...

   There's a little thing going on in Arizona that refuses to stay there.  I mean, I WANT it to spread, but not the way it is.  See, Arizona passed a law giving officers the right to ASK for proof of US citizenship if they feel someone is here illegally (that is the key fucking word, shitheads: ILLEGAL), and the means to detain them if it proves to be the case. 

   THIS has a bunch of people mad.  Therefore, shitloads of shitheads are Boycotting Arizona.

   So, what are these fuckwits mad about?  They are mad because they think it will give the police the right to pull over anyone they think is illegal.  Keep in mind that in Arizona (much like Texas), you have a lot of immigrants from South America;    Here in Houston last week, the arizona baseball team played the Astros, so everyone was urged not to go to the game.  People are screaming Racisim, Racial Profiling, etc.

   My bitch is: if I get pulled over, and don't show any ID to the officer, This white boy is going to fucking JAIL. BUT, if an illegal immigrant gets pulled over, can't speak the language, and shows no ID, they have to let them go.

Fuck that, and fuck you.

  And today, here in houston, they are hosting the World Cup Finals with MEXICO!  So, a couple thousand people show up for that shit, right?  I wonder what percentage of the audience isn't even allowed to be here... You ask me, I say: boycott Mexico. Fucking boycott China, with their cancer causing toys and poisonous sheetrock.  Boycott your fucking mother, faggot.


   See, I'm not going to even bother arguing with them. Illegal is fucking illegal. You have assholes smuggling people and drugs across the border, killing people, fucking up everything by breeding like crazy and living their shitty, third-world lifestyle here in the states. Fuck them. If you are mad about this you are either ignorant as shit, or you or someone you care about is here illegally. Tough shit, motherfucker.  I have no compassion for utter stupidity.  I've never received compassion for my own stupidity, and maybe that's why I've learned from it.  I did not, however, learn compassion.  You idiotic, selfish and inconsiderate apes wrung that one right out of me.

  Check out some of the numbers showing how much money is spent on illegal mothers having their "anchor babies" here in the states (which makes the bastard a citizen???  Really?/????), and THEN they can't kick the bitch out because that would be cruel.  What is cruel is that their birth control failed (yeah, right....like they used any fucking birth control...goddamn catholics...).  Let me tell you fucking cunts something: Eat shit.

  (Remenber: No arguments here, just a smack in the face)

  Fuck you again, you overpopulating, macho-muchacho douchebag faggots.  Keep breeding.  Pile them into the shitty schools, where there are too many kids, and fewer (and worse) teachers.  Fill the world with your filth, go ahead.  But, don't come crying to anyone when you are wallowing in disease and starvation.  Don't ask me to give a shit about your fucking children.  Don't ask me to help you pay for them, either.  I'll tell you the same thing I tell the crackhead drunk fucks begging for change on the side of the road:  Eat shit and die, you worthless piece of shit.  You dug your grave, lie in it.

   Face it:  We are fucked.  Prematurely fucked, too.  Like the badass artist that overdosed on drugs before they made anything REALLY good (but, they had such potential!).  People are just too selfish and stupid, and we are simply doomed.  It won't be tomorrow (I think), maybe not even next week or (hopefully) next year... But, I guarrantee that your quality of life, no matter WHO you fucking are, is going to start getting shittier, and shittier and shittier.

  Start making some smart fucking decisions, you idiotic fucking monkeys, or your grandchildren will kill you and eat you while you sleep.

  Me, I just want to crawl into the forest and die in peace...ALONE.

  Soylent green is fucking people, but I'd rather starve.


Ahhhhh...I feel better now.  Time to go hit the heavy bag.

Derivative Comics coins the term "Cauc"

Consistently one of the most twisted and hilarious web comix.  Yes, I know:  I've mentioned it before.  But, you have to read this one.  Fucking Genius. 

Check Yer Head...Comix, Episode 11: Earache My Eye!

   "Even if you don't like Underground Comix (heathen...), or even KNOW what that means, you will dig this shit. Get ready for the best mix of music, Idolatry and inebriated idiocy that this one Herbivore (snicker...) can muster. Personally, I couldn't care less if you downloaded this Pudcast, but if it entertains the shit out of me THIS much, it's gotta be a little fun for you, too. Check it."