Oh, MAN, that shit is WHACK, yo...

I had to come home early today, so I'm not quite as crazy as I would be on a normal Monday. 

HOWEVER...

The world is just crazy enough without me.

   I don't need to mention the earthquakes.  Murders?  Firestarters?  We got 'em (and PLENTY) here in town, so no...

   I'm talking about daytime television.  More specifically, the Maury show and Cheaters.  Now, I've seen some crazy shit, on TV or otherwise, but this shit is outtasight.  I saw an hour of the Maury show where they had a bunch of DNA test results on one show.  Holy shit!  This one guy had SOLID PROOF that he's had 26 kids!  You should get a look at this guy, man...Straight Pimpin'!  Ghod, just imagine...not only the kind of girl that would let this guy get them pregnant, but there are 26 descendants of this bastard out there spreading those genes!  Hey, you KNOW most of them are living off your tax dollars...right?  You don't?  What are you, some kind of crazy Christian Pro-Lifer??  I've seen these pro-lifers demonstrating outside a clinic I used to pass by every day.  I won't say the typical "who would fuck them?" statement (although that fucker sticks), but I will say:  They were almost all ugly, fat women that obviously didn't have jobs.  What fucking perspective on life would I want from some home-bound, worthless ape that hates everything because they want it?  These are the same women that protest outside Hooters.  They only protest outside Hooters because they can't find an abortion clinic close enough to the house.  Aw hell, I'm not that worried about it, really.  The human race has a long history of killing off the good ones, while letting the shitty ones breed like rats high on bamboo fruit.  That is exactly the reason why I CONSCIOUSLY never had any children.  'Has nothin' to do with "boo-hoo, I can't bring a child into this world!" as much as "aw, fuck, I'm gonna disassociate myself from you stupid monkeys PERMANENTLY".  I don't have to worry about what the world is going to be like in 20, 30 years.  I sure as hell ain't gonna last that long, and I don't have any grandchildren to be concerned with.  I'm the guy that decdided the neighborhood is just too fucked up to fix, so I moved out.  Unfortunately, I didn't move very far, so I still have you stupid monkeys as neighbors.

   If there was a chance in my lifetime that humans could be posted on the moon or Mars, I'd have gone into the military, and worked my way towards astronaut, instead of playing music (dumbass...).  Of course, as long as I have an internet connection.  Goddamn it.  I feel like that douche in Clerks who says "I hate people, but I love gatherings".

   Well, I DON'T love gatherings.  That's one of the reasons I quit playing music in public.  I don't hate bars, but I hate being in a bar, full of crazy drunk people, all staring and yelling at me.  I always envied the sound guy...he got to hear great (sometimes) live music without having to deal with all the hangers-on.  PLUS, they got to drink free!  Hey, Jester, I miss you, man.  You were a smart fucker to stop playing bass and start twiddling knobs, for sure.

   Dang...reading this back, I guess it DID get a little weird after all, eh?  You happy now?  I made an ass out of myself again, right?

Happy to be of service.  Good Day!