Why am I here?

   Wow, that's a big one, right?  Is this existential or am I talking about this fucking website?  Well, the website is merely a medium.  It's a tool.  Kinda like you.

   Existentially, I believe I'm here to be here.  There is no deeper meaning to life than being alive.  After all, how important is life to dead shit?  Go on...ask 'em.

   I couldn't care less what my existence means.  Our lives are pointless outside of our sphere of consciousness.  Every move we make is simply that: Movement.  Congratulations, my friend.  Entropy is ignoring you for the moment.  And, GOOD NEWS!  Even after you die, your atoms will continue to move about! YAY! You are composed of particles that continuously move, even after consciousness departs!

   Is this comforting?  Im sure, with YOUR ego, that any knowledge of action post-mortem will thrill the shit out of you, and cause sales of candles sporting the image of the "virgin" Mary to skyrocket.

But, as for me...Well, I know my place in the universe.

   I'm thankful for every breath (notice I didn't spell it breathe...that's because I can read!), and whom do I thank?

   That's a good question.  I usually thank Crap.  Context: "thank crap that fucking cocksucker in the huge vehicle next to me was able to tear themselves away from their faggot-ass phone conversation about nothing long enough to not kill me!", and shit like that.

   SO, what am I here for?  Well, all I know is that I want to piss you off.  Oh, yes.  I WILL piss you off.  If I haven't already, expect it.  My greatest gift is the uncanny ability to sneak in, make you smile, then question your entire existence.

   Why do you exist?  Fuck if I know.  Apparently you are here to waste gravity, pollute everything you touch and shit upon anything that moves.  Oh, and breed like fucking rats as well.  Yes, you breed too fucking much, you know?

Still here?  Man, there are more fucking masochists out there than I thought...

   Come back later, and maybe you will understand why I'm so angry.  Then again, you may not understand at all.  I couldn't care less either way.  I certainly won't benefit, and don't wish to.

What am I here for?  Fuck, what are YOU here for?

I'm here to piss you off.  And, hopefully, to wake your ass up.